Jealousy Worries After Having a New Baby

I had always wanted more than one child. It boils down to my own experiences as a child. I grew up with an older brother and we are so close and have been from since before I can remember. We may have had a few sibling arguments but on the grand scale of things I love him to bits and I loved having a big brother growing up. I wanted to have children and my children to have a similar experience. However, all children are different and I know plenty of people who have children that don’t get along. What if my children do nothing but fight and bicker? 

What if my children don’t get along?

Throughout the pregnancy people would ask if I was worried about my eldest George being jealous of the new baby. I would say that I wasn’t overly concerned. George is quite independent for a baby in a sense that he’s not too clingy and will happily play with other people and children. As he is so sociable I thought all would be well when the new baby came home.

Olivia came home 6 weeks ago and there was a new look that George cast which I had not seen before. It was a look of suspicion. It didn’t appear at first but when he noticed that this tiny person was demanding a lot of my love and attention he just couldn’t figure out why. I did my best to play with George where I could and I would talk to him even if I was holding Olivia to let him know I loved him still. 

Will his suspicions grow into more sinister feelings?


After a week George started to do a fake cry or throw tantrums for no reason. He would also bring me things such as his toys or food when I was feeding Olivia. I know he was just resting whether I still cared about him. Eventually, he started to look less suspiciously of Olivia. 

I suppose it is hard for him as most of the day she was sleeping in her Moses basket and so out of sight, or in my arms so out of reach. A newborn is not a play thing and they don’t do very much that would interest a 23 month old. 

He’s not mean to her but he just doesn’t know what to do around her


After 3 weeks George started to come around. I was cuddling Olivia on the sofa and he climbed up for a cuddle too. I was able to get my other arm around him. He had his suspicious look about him as he reached over to Olivia. Then he smiled and said “baby” before gently stroking her head.   I gave him the biggest smile and agreed “yes, Olivia is your baby sister”. He smiled back and then settled in for a cuddle. I think it was at that point he accepted that I could be shared and that I still loved him. 


Those beautiful moments have started to come more frequently. He will rock the moses basket and if he’s running he will slow down to carefully step around her if I’m playing on the floor with her. I can see he enjoys getting the positive smiles and attention from being kind and this is making for many a cute moment between the pair. 

I think he loves her


I hope they love each other as much as I love my big brother. 

Getting Support For Breastfeeding

This is just a short post to raise awareness of a new resource that has started up in the UK to map all the breastfeeding support groups.

It had been started by a mother of two beautiful children who champions all mothers and seeks to support mothers who want to breastfeed. She promotes breastfeeding and baby wearing in a supportive and non-judgemental way. 

When my son was born he had a severe tongue tie causing him to have difficulty latching. He swallowed more gas leading to trapped wind and possetting. It also lead to breast and nipple damage with me. Despite being highlighted at birth,  it took 23 days to resolve as “due process” had to be followed. During this time I could have given up breastfeeding but I received support from my local breastfeeding group and friends which helped me to persevere. Their advice also helped me to get the procedure to resolve my sons tongue tie done as quickly as possible… although 23 days seems like a ridiculous amount of time. 
Please share, especially if you think there aren’t many groups in your area. There may be groups that need adding to the list and just haven’t got the word out yet. It may also inspire someone to start up their own group.

Facebook-  @thebreastfeedingmap 

Mother’s Day Gift Creation

I posted earlier this week about a thoughtful gift that I bought for my mother for mother’s day.

My mum is a minimalist and so doesn’t like to be bought things that will generally end up catching dust around the house. She is saving for a summer house to be built in her garden in preparation for her retirement and so we have agreed that a donation towards that is the best gift… my mum appreciates practical gifts.

Rather than just giving her a card with money in it with mothers day I decided to get her a money box for her savings. I looked all over for a “summer house fund” money box but most money boxes of this kind were geared towards “new house” fund or “wedding” fund and so didn’t have the right look about them.

I tried Etsy and Amazon, my usual go to places for gifts and in the end I settled for a wooden construction toy to act as the money box. It was a 37 piece set.

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I wasn’t sure what to expect but I knew I would have to assemble the kit for my mum as I wanted to give her a money box not a toy. I’m glad I did have a go at building the kit first as I needed to sand back one of the pieces to get it to fit perfectly.

After a dry build I decided to reassemble but this time gluing the pieces together. I left one side of the roof off so that she could access her savings.

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I was quite pleased with the end result and I put some money in to get her started. After it has been used and the summer house has been built she can even turn it into a winter bug hide so it benefits the biodiversity of her garden… yay me for getting a green gift!

As you can see the money goes in between where the two roof parts meet. This wasn’t clear on the photo on Amazon and I think I would have preferred to have had the roof parts meet and then left a gap between a couple of the roof slat parts. I wasn’t able to modify the box further though.

I do like puzzles and I think if my son had been a little older we could have enjoyed doing this together. I’ll definitely be keeping this company in mind for cute wooden construction toys in the future.

 
If you are interested in looking at the kit its made by a company called Igroteco and you can find it here on //ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=GB&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=lomyab-21&marketplace=amazon&region=GB&placement=B01BF8RDSC&asins=B01BF8RDSC&linkId=&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true” target=”_blank”>Amazon. I am affiliated with amazon but this is an honest review of what I did with the product and the issues that I needed to solve to make it work for me. It was £15.99 when I purchased it and it had free delivery – no Amazon prime though sorry.

 

Mother’s Day Now I’m a Mother

Mother’s day has always been a very special day for me. I knew my mother would get some love and appreciation for being the wonderful person that she is and that was something to look forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to think that my mother feels loved and appreciated all year round, but mother’s day is when we can actually stop and enjoy the moment.

I became a mother in April 2015 so I have enjoyed one mother’s day with my amazing Son. It felt strange having the limelight of the day shifting onto me. I’m now heavily pregnant and it is entirely possible that I may end up having the gift of another child this year.

What is important to me is that my mother and mother-in-law both feel love and affection as well. I simply could not enjoy the day if I felt like they didn’t get their appreciation. I am looking forward to a special day with my son though, after all next year he will be sharing the day with his sibling… possibly this year too.

The best way to get around this feeling of having to split the time between all of us amazing females is to get thoughtful gifts. Some of the most thoughtful gifts need not be the most expensive either. I often find that I spend less when being thoughtful. I don’t do it to be a penny pincher but it benefits both the recipient and my pocket so win-win. Also, I don’t mind going over budget on people when I think I’ve found a gift that’s right for them.

One year I bought my mother some silicone kitchen utensils. She was absolutely made up with them as she didn’t know you could get a mixing spoon in silicone. My mother hates touching wet wood and so her wooden mixing spoon was something she hated using in the kitchen. I gave her a wood free cooking experience that year and she was positively made up with happiness, even though it might seem strange as a gift idea.

My mother may read this post so I don’t want her to get an idea of what I’ve got her this year, but I’d like to think that she will see I’ve been thoughtful and that I love her very much.

I’m grateful for the time I get to spend with my mother all year round. I have friends who don’t have that privilege so it is important to me that I make the most of what I have and be grateful.

Happy Mother’s day 2017