What is a Super Mum?
We all know someone who makes being a mother (or father) look effortless. The so-called Super Mum. I’m pretty sure that no matter who you are there will be someone who thinks the same about you too. And here’s why.
Why Every Mum and No Mum is a Super Mum
Every mum is human. You get hungry, angry, sad, frustrated and you cry. These feelings are often viewed as negative emotions but actually, they are completely normal! If you didn’t feel hungry then what fun would cake be? Anger is just your passion for life burning out of control for a short burst. If you didn’t feel sad every now and then, how would you know to appreciate joy? Frustration is born from compassion and desire to make the world a better place. Then there’s crying: it’s a form of release and we all need that.
I try to keep in mind that anything is possible… but not everything is possible. I may wake up one morning and hope to complete a long list of tasks, whilst maintaining the welfare and interests of my two beautiful children. Therefore, at the start of the day, I have hope that anything can be done. By the end of the day, I may have only just managed to clothe, feed and play with my children (trying to remember if I got a chance to shower at this point). Have I failed as a mother? No! Have I failed as a person? No! I can only do so much and there is only so much time in the day. In this analogy, I totally prioritise my children. On other days I may check some tasks of my lists but playtime suffers, or the meals I prepare for my children are rushed and maybe not as balanced as I’d like. I’m still not a failure.
How Social Media is Affecting Motherhood.
I find it hard to believe that any mother feels in total control all of the time. That isn’t what we post on Facebook or Instagram though is it? We show people through online communities what we want them to see of ourselves. Do you hold back? I know I do. We may post a picture of our child sleeping… awww. Wait a second!! this toddler has spent the past 8 hours destroying my home and the past 2 hours in crazy mode refusing to sleep. I’m exhausted! So now is the time to post on Facebook a picture of my darling cherub sleeping “look at my angel napping”/”isn’t nap time great”. I feel the relief but my social media followers are probably thinking “why does her child sleep and mine doesn’t?” I’ll be posting when my baby sleeps through as well, but maybe not when they regress and I’m back to hourly wake-ups and hallucinations. That would ruin the image that I’m killing it as a mummy. I can’t have people thinking I’m not a Super Mum now can I? That would make me a failure in mind, when actually when I see people being honest and saying “it was chaos today but it’s over now and my children are still alive” I actually have more respect for them. Genuine is hard to come by these days.
Social Media Can Be Good and Bad
The problem is, I feel like if I make a comment about being frustrated, sad or like I want to cry then I am somehow putting my children down. As a mother, I am the champion for my children so anything in the public sphere what may seem negative about motherhood feels like I am somehow betraying them or that I somehow love them less. This makes public honesty difficult. But we live in a world where we don’t need to go out and socialise like our parents did. We have our friends at our fingertips. Our friends who like our photos or comment with emojis and love hearts Commenting in this public domain which is watched by the world so we have to be careful and chose our words carefully. One little slip-up and Super Mum status goes out the window.
Why Every Mum is A Super Mum
Are you trying your best? Yes! You are a super Mum. Your children know it and you should too. Do you think they care that you are still wearing yesterdays make-up? No, because you woke them with a smile this morning. You love them and they know it. Do you think that they care that you didn’t take them out today? No, because they got to play dens in the furniture and get dragged around holding onto your ankle. You are awesome! Your children don’t know about those horrible judgmental people that we fear insulting us so very much. Your children know your kindness, compassion, and love. Let’s not forget they know your wrath. They also know your forgiveness. To them, you are the best mum in the world. You are a Super Mum!
In summary, keep it real. Super Mum is a silly label. We can’t be awesome all of the time. We shouldn’t expect too much of ourselves. We are human. We will never be Super Mums on social media but we will always be Superheroes in our children’s eyes.
Thank you for reading. On a more serious note, if you feel that you are feeling negative emotions more than the positive ones, please talk to someone or seek help. Here is a link to NHS Post natal depression. You can always speak to your GP too.
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Thank you, Super Mums. You are awesome!